First thoughts on parenthood

 I set this blog up with the sole aim of chronicling my feelings through the end of the adoption process. Then the s**t hit the fan two months ago and I've not written anything since Boxing Day. While I will indeed tell you all about that shortly (trust me, it's a lot, and writing it down may make it make sense (however unlikely)), I thought it would instead be worth capturing my initial thoughts two weeks into parenting. The kids joined us abruptly mid February, with little in the way of clothing, information or notable routine. As such it's been a mission getting these small people to do the absolute basics. The five year old is quite the contrarian and sulk, while the two year old seems allergic to the word no. So what have I learnt ? 

1. Not to be a d**k to someone who deprived you of sleep only a short few hours before 

This was a big one, and the first real lesson. The older daughter kept my wife and I awake most of the night, and it was an almighty struggle to come to terms with the idea that I'd have to be nice to her the next day. Especially since I'd go in, get her to sleep, then she'd awake screaming only a few moments later. Rinse. Repeat. 

We learn the next morning that she was scared of the tigers on her blinds. So out they went to be replaced with (at least in the short term, before they learn about unrealistic female standards) less harmful Disney princesses. 

2. How to change a nappy 

The younger one has a nappy. And I'd not changed one since my brother was a baby. Seeing as he's now approaching thirty, that was a long time ago. And my do they stink. I mean of course, right? I just hadn't realised how much the stank was going to affect me. It brought back memories of all the worst takeaways I've ever eaten mixed with a soupcon of melancholy. It was awful. And that's going to be at least once daily for the foreseeable. 

3. Kids make a lot of noise 

Again, duh. However it is constant. The oldest hasn't learnt about internal monologue yet, so just says stuff all the bloody time. About everything. Constantly. 

4. Clothes were a lot more fragile in the 80s, and kids eat a lot of tomato based products 

Kids are messy ! The messiest time of day is dinner time, and the creation of mess brings back childhood memories of how worried my parents were about stains. Thankfully it feels like kids clothes are a lot cheaper than they were, and in two weeks of washing we've seen everything that has been thrown at them disappear. And a lot has been thrown at them. When it's not mud, it's felt tips - the latter now removed from the playroom as though they may be advertised as 'washable' they still stain furniture. 

The thing I was most worried about was tomato sauce, because it's a feature of frankly everything they eat - such as ketchup, baked beans and the perennial favourite tomato soup. Tomato use to be my parents enemy, and as such my heart still skips a beat to see the oldest throw soup at a bright white sweatshirt emblazoned with the words ' think happy ... thoughts' (no word of a lie - the foster carer's choice not ours and the gap in sentence and accompanying font change completely unexplainable). It's just reassuring to know that the stain will be gone in the next wash. Progress is a wonderful thing. 

5. I had an overwhelming urge to buy a laminator

So I bought one. Not sure why. Haven't used it much. Hoping it'll come in useful. But now I own one. And that's the main thing 

6. It's awesome 

Not to be that parent who ends on a rant about their kids with the phrase 'oh but they're a blessing' but to seriously admit there's not been a moment in the first two weeks of their stay (or the two weeks of hell that proceeded it) when I have regretted my choice to adopt. These are both wonderful girls who are fabulously unique and a force of nature. 

The youngest is so affectionate and energetic, while the oldest so very curious and an amazing mimic. They've made me laugh so much, and I've thrown them about the room squealing tons. I'm overwhelmed by the fact that for the first time in my life I don't need to hand them back at the end of the day. It is a blessing. Truly. Thank you Big Guy.